Book clubs: another way to make new friends?

It is a worrying fact that we are all becoming much more isolated, more solitary, than we once were. I mean this in a physical sense. Many of us are in danger of becoming 'virtualised'. We may have 500 friends on Facebook, 300 followers on Hubpages even but only 1 friend to go to the pub with.

We may not even go to the pub anymore, finding it just too easy to slob out on the sofa in front of the TV with a can of lager. Going out means having to get tidy, maybe even having to shave - and that's only the women. Gone are the days of community when we all stood outside on an evening talking until dark whilst the kids played all around us.

And if you move to a new home where you do not know anyone this situation is made even worse. You may find that the Women's Institute, the Crown Green Bowling Club or the belly-dancing classes on offer are really not for you - and that's only the men. But if you are an avid reader the solution is obvious. Join a book club. And if there isn't one already, start one.

To find out if there already is a book club in your area ask at your local library if you live in a town or watch out for mention of one in any local newspapers. Many of the villages in this part of Devon produce their own newsletters in which local groups advertise so keeping your eyes and ears open may well turn something up.

But locating a book club is not all there is to it. Once you have found one it would be advisable to make further enquiries as to the criteria required to join.

If you have unearthed a rather discreet book club you may find that members are selected by invitation and then only when they have a vacancy. This was the case in my particular book club and, as I was new to the village, it gave my self-esteem a boost to have been asked to join; not that having my self-esteem boosted should have been the aim of joining a book club, obviously.

It may also be a single sex club i.e. not your particular sex. Or it could be mixed sex but you might find it intimidating because there are a lot of blue-stockings discussing classical literature and you prefer something less cerebral. A sneaky peek at their reading list will soon give you a clue in this case.

What if there isn't a book club in my area?

No problem ... start one. You are probably just what your area needs. Again, local publicity is the key; adverts in the post office, on the village noticeboard, in the local paper, even in the library if they'll allow. Decide on what your criteria is - ladies only - men only - mixed - but try to be 'omnivorous' (it is probably best if you don't limit yourself to too narrow a reading field).

Once you have a core group of readers you can either continue to expand your numbers by advertising or keep it small and select, inviting others to join only after you have democratically put their nomination to the other members to get their reactions. It is important to make sure that you do not have too many members as that makes it difficult for everyone to get a chance at discussion so it may be best to limit numbers, around ten seems to work best in my book group.

Choosing a reading list.

This is best decided between the group members as it is obviously preferable to restricting others to your choice of book and will foster amicable relations with your new members from the start.

A good beginning might be personal favourites as people often like to share their choices in the hope that others love them as much as they do, though they will need to be prepared for critical comments as well. And of course it will result in an interesting and very varied list.

Another valuable resource for reading lists is the internet (see the links below), a browse through www.amazon.com or,of course, your local bookshop.

Venue? Hospitality?

Again, this is best kept simple. If you keep your membership to a manageable size it is much cheaper, and often more comfortable, to have a monthly rota of hosting the group in member's homes with the host providing biscuits and tea, coffee or soft drinks for drivers or non-drinkers. Or, for a little more sophistication, nibbles and wine. Everyone can help to chip in with nibbles and maybe even wine to share.

In these cash-strapped days it seems only common courtesy to take some small token to help with the hospitality, and wine, if offered, always helps the flow of conversation and conviviality. Again, the rules about hospitality should be something agreed upon at the outset of forming your group. Once you have decided on venue, hospitality and reading list you are all set.

Now, the only thing needed is a list of questions pertinent to the book being read and again the internet can provide these though they often read a bit like the exam questions set for school children.

Discussion.

I think it's important to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Set questions about books may be a starting stimulation for discussion but they do not need to be rigidly adhered to. If you are a control freak then maybe a book club is not for you as discussions and points of view can sometimes be contentious and can lead to digression or even wander away from the subject altogether.

I happen to believe that book clubs, much as I love books, should also be about sociability, about meeting other people and learning their points of view but I can quite accept that this angle may be peculiar to me. So you may have to agree with your fellow readers at the outset exactly what the ethos of your particular club is going to be.

Or you could just start it up and see what happens. But whatever you do don't just sit there, read something ... and tell someone about it.

As I have only touched lightly on what can be the rather varied subject of book clubs to highlight my particular angle, i.e. as a way to meet actual, real people, I am including the following links to help you explore further what setting up a book club can involve.

http://bestsellers.about.com/od/readingrecommendations/u/readinglists.htm#s5

http://www.litlovers.com/litreads.html

http://www.litlovers.com/litreads.html